CHICAGO — After months of waiting, Amie and Brian Martin were grateful when their daughter Ava finally received a new heart. The 19-month-old girl with big, blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair had already endured two open heart surgeries and countless health problems before strangers donated the heart that would save her life.
Doctors at Lurie Children’s Hospital deemed the Dec. 14 transplant a success. As Ava recuperated from the operation, her exhausted parents retired to a nearby hospital suite, turned off the lights and were about to get some much-needed rest.
That’s when Amie Martin noticed a Facebook instant message on her phone.
“Oh my God,” she remembers gasping so loudly it startled her husband awake. She read the message aloud.
12/15 7:45 p.m.
Jamie Heard
“Hey Amie! I heard about your sweet daughter from a friend and my body felt weak. Our son, William, a two-year-old from Nashville, donated his heart yesterday. We were told it was going to a one-year-old in Chicago. That is all the info they gave us. Do you know where your daughter’s new heart came? Regardless, it warms my heart to hear your story. We lost our son when he choked while eating lunch on Friday. In the words of our four year old, ‘He is alive in Heaven!’ God has been so good to us and knowing our sweet William’s heart and kidneys went to save two lives has been a bright spot in our darkest hour. I will be praying for your girl. With love, Jamie”
It marked the beginning of a friendship — between two mothers who had never met but were connected when one’s heartbreak became the other’s hope — built through an emotional stream of instant messages on the Internet.
The Martins had assumed it would be a year before they could reach out to the donor’s family to express their deepest gratitude. Although there are no set rules for how long a donor or organ recipient must wait before making contact, counselors at The Gift of Hope, the organ procurement organization that covers Illinois and northwest Indiana, encourage both parties to take their time recuperating, grieving and respecting privacy before getting in touch.
But in the last decade, the Internet and social media have lent their immediacy to organ donation. Transplant patients seeking donors find their matches online. Resourceful organ recipients identify donors by searching news stories. And with Facebook, Twitter and other sites, donor and recipient families no longer have to wait for procurement agencies to serve as the intermediary.
Amie and Brian Martin, who live in La Grange, Ill., with Ava and her 3-year-old sister, Ella, never questioned the authenticity of the message that arrived less than 24 hours after the transplant. They knew Ava’s surgery was the only pediatric heart transplant performed in Chicago that day. And they saw Jamie Heard’s profile picture — a heartbreaking image of a 2-year-old boy laughing in her arms — and instantly understood why the mother was reaching out to them: for confirmation, for comfort, for a connection.
So just half an hour after Jamie Heard’s message arrived, Amie Martin typed the first response that came to mind.
12/15 8:16 p.m.
Amie Martin
“Oh my goodness Jamie … we are just speechless … ”
And she accepted Jamie Heard’s Facebook friend request.
The online friendship will culminate offline next month, when Jamie, her husband, Daniel, and their 4-year-old daughter, Madeline, are scheduled to come to Chicago to meet the Martins in person.
“I think it’ll be emotional, but it’ll just be so nice to finally hug them,” Jamie Heard said. “We feel so close to them already.”
AVA GETS A NEW HEART
Before Ava was even born, her parents knew her heart was sick. During a 20-week ultrasound, doctors identified a condition called hypoplastic left heart syndrome, in which her left ventricle was smaller than it should be. They told the parents that terminating the pregnancy was an option. If not, surgery would be needed to repair the faulty structures in her heart, and the baby would struggle, Amie Martin recalled.
The Martins never questioned their decision to endure dozens of high-risk prenatal check-ups and tests, open-heart surgery for Ava when she was 7 days old and again at 7 months old, and many related health complications.
Even during Ava’s healthy stretches, she was not well. Lack of blood flow from her heart led to regular vomiting, profuse sweating that kept her indoors, and poor digestion. At times, Ava was so weak she slept 17 hours each day, her parents said.
“We just kind of chugged along,” Brian Martin said. “They told us this was going to be hard, so we just thought, we’ve just got to get through this and get through the next surgery.”
When Ava went into heart failure at 13 months old, she joined nearly 350 children nationwide awaiting heart transplants. The Martin’s set up a Facebook page — Hope for Amazing Ava — to keep friends and family up to date.
On Dec. 14, Amie Martin was still in shock when she posted:
“Today is Ava’s big day! 111 days listed. She will receive her heart today, a gift from an amazing family that in their darkest hour chose to give life to our daughter. We will never be able to thank you for this gift. We will honor your child every day. Prayers for our sweet girl today. Please dear God protect her and let her come through the other side. All her guardian angels unite and keep your hands on her today and throughout her recovery.”
Nearly 890 people liked the update, and 180 shared it.
‘A SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE’
Several of Jamie Heard’s friends in Tennessee had heard about the little girl in Chicago. They had learned about Ava the way people often get their news from social media — a friend’s sister-in-law had a friend who was Facebook friends with Amie Martin. In private conversations, the friends wondered if it was possible: Could William’s death have given Ava another chance at life?
Three days before Ava’s transplant, William was home with a nanny when he choked on a piece of chicken in his soup. The nanny tried patting his back and performing the Heimlich maneuver, but the toddler fell limp in her arms. Paramedics arrived shortly after and couldn’t dislodge the food, Jamie Heard said.
By the time Jamie and Daniel arrived at the hospital, they knew the situation was grave. Doctors restored a heartbeat, but tests showed no brain activity. The devastated parents agreed to donate William’s organs, and a medical team kept the boy on life support until organ recipients were chosen.
The Heards leaned on their faith to help them cope with the sudden loss. They also had unwavering support from family and friends, many of whom were at the Heards’ house in Brentwood, Tenn., on Dec. 15 when one of her closest friends revealed to her that they thought they knew where William’s heart went.
Jamie Heard said she was grateful for the distraction from grief. The friends huddled around her laptop and searched for any news on Ava they could find. After seeing a Chicago TV news report about Ava receiving the transplant, including footage of the donated heart being removed from a cooler, Heard knew she had to write to the little girl’s mother. Her friends helped her to craft the message.
When Martin’s response came, nearly everyone in the room was moved to tears, Heard recalled. And over the next two hours, the mothers exchanged details that left each feeling certain their children had a remarkable connection.
12/15 9:38 p.m.
Amie Martin
“This is just so surreal that we were able to connect so quickly. I’m just floored. When I laid down last night at 11:30, I stared up at the ceiling. Got out of bed and knelt at the bedside. My prayers were not for Ava as they’ve been for months and months. They were for you, your husband and your son. Unknowingly you all, but they were for you. They will continue to be for you.”
12/15 9:53 p.m.
Jamie Heard
“I’m sitting here with a group of friends and we have cried tears of joy … Thank you for your prayers and please continue to pray for us … Thank you for giving our little boy’s heart a second chance at a life.”
MOTHERS’ NATURAL CONNECTION
The next day, Gift of Hope officials confirmed for the Martin family that Ava’s heart came from Nashville. The organization typically waits a full month before sending any information about how to connect with a donor or organ recipient, whose names are revealed only if they are willing.
Both mothers say they can understand why such guidelines are in place, but they feel their connection has been comfortable and natural.
Jamie Heard said she will always be grateful that Ava’s story gave her something hopeful to say when mourners approached at William’s funeral, four days after the transplant. In recent exchanges, the mothers have discussed what they will do when they meet in person. There are plans to attend a fundraiser for Ava, and possibly go to the American Girl store.
The Heards also will visit the Martins’ home in La Grange, where Jamie Heard plans to put her ear to Ava’s chest.
If words fail them in that moment, the mothers can rely on what they’ve already shared.
12/15 8:27 p.m.
Amie Martin
“William’s heart is so strong … Brian and I listened to Ava’s sick heart one last time before they took her down to the operating room yesterday. I grabbed the stethoscope as soon as we saw her last night at 10:30 p.m. and listened to the most beautiful sound in the world. Your gift of life. Your son’s gift of life.”
12/15 8:31 p.m.
No comments:
Post a Comment